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Post separation abuse. 

Picture the scene, you have just found enough strength to walk away from a partner that belittles you, has strangled you, knocked your confidence, filmed you getting angry at them after they pushed you to the edge, punched and bruised you, and for the first time you can breathe in your own space. 

You think, this must be the end of that relationship now, but how wrong that sentence can be. 

Domestic abuse charities in the UK indicate that over 90% of survivors experience some form of post-separation abuse. (Domestic abuse education 2025)

With the period just after leaving your partner being one of the highest risk periods for serious harm. 

If there are children involved this only escalates the situation. 

So now, not only have you lost your confidence, you are now continually knocked down, made to feel guilty; 

“You did this to the children”

“It was your choice to leave”

“This was all your fault”

Whilst they move on with their new partner and build a family. A family and a home that you had longed for, but now can only grieve over. Not for missing them, but for missing what you had. 

Post separation abuse falls under the coercive control category of abuse and in 2023 the Met Police reported that only 5% of cases were charged for coercive and controlling behaviours - highlighting how difficult these cases can be to investigate. (“Reports of controlling and coercive behaviour from January 2019 to May 2024” 2024)

Charges for coercive control have increased significantly, rising from 198 in 2016 to 4,955 in 2024. However, they still account for only a small proportion of domestic abuse cases. More than 54,000 domestic abuse prosecutions were brought in England and Wales in the year ending March 2025, suggesting that many victims experiencing coercive control may not see this form of abuse identified or prosecuted as a specific offence. (Domestic abuse education 2025)

So why is post separation abuse so hard to prosecute?  

The law is relatively new. Post-separation coercive control only became a specific criminal offence on 5 April 2023, so awareness and understanding are still developing across policing, prosecution and the courts. (“Reports of controlling and coercive behaviour from January 2019 to May 2024” 2024) (“Controlling or coercive behaviour: statutory guidance framework (accessible)”, n.d.)

The abuse is often a pattern rather than a single event. Perpetrators may use repeated messages, child-contact disputes, financial control, threats or legal processes to maintain control, making it harder to evidence than a one-off assault. (“CPS data summary Quarter 3 2024-2025”, n.d.) (ONS 2025) (“Criminal justice statistics quarterly - GOV.UK”, n.d.)

Many behaviours appear lawful in isolation. Applying to court, contacting an ex-partner about children, or disputing finances may each appear reasonable on their own, even when they form part of an abusive pattern. (“Criminal justice statistics quarterly - GOV.UK”, n.d.) (ONS 2025)

Cases are often charged as other offences. Behaviour that forms part of post-separation abuse may instead be prosecuted as stalking, harassment, malicious communications, breaches of court orders or assault. (“CPS data summary Quarter 3 2024-2025”, n.d.) (“Criminal justice statistics quarterly - GOV.UK”, n.d.)

Victims may struggle to prove ongoing harm. Evidence is often spread across months or years and may involve multiple agencies, including police, family courts, schools and the Child Maintenance Service. (ONS 2025) (“Reports of controlling and coercive behaviour from January 2019 to May 2024” 2024)

Family court abuse is not always recognised as domestic abuse. Researchers and charities have highlighted concerns that repeated litigation and the misuse of child-arrangement proceedings can be used as tools of coercive control but are not consistently identified as such. (ONS 2025) (“CPS data summary Quarter 3 2024-2025”, n.d.)

Because post-separation abuse is often a pattern rather than a single event, survivors are encouraged to keep records of messages, financial abuse, child-contact disputes, legal proceedings and other incidents that demonstrate ongoing control. While individual actions may appear reasonable in isolation, a timeline of behaviour can help reveal the wider pattern of coercive control. (“Criminal justice statistics quarterly - GOV.UK”, n.d.) (ONS 2025)

So where does that leave survivors?

It leaves them trying to prove something that was designed to be hidden. It leaves them collecting screenshots, saving emails, documenting incidents and building timelines, all while trying to heal from the abuse itself. It leaves them having to explain, over and over again, that what appears to be a disagreement over finances, a court application, or a message about the children is actually part of a much wider pattern of control.

The reality is that leaving an abusive relationship does not always end the abuse. For many survivors, it simply changes shape. The physical violence may stop, but the manipulation, intimidation and coercion continue through the systems and responsibilities that cannot be walked away from.

Post-separation abuse is often described as the final stage of coercive control, where the perpetrator uses any remaining connection, particularly children, finances or legal proceedings, to maintain power. Until these patterns are better recognised, many survivors will continue to find themselves fighting not only their abuser, but also a system that struggles to see the abuse for what it is.

Because post-separation abuse is not about a single incident. It is about a pattern of behaviour. 

For many survivors, the hardest part is realising that although the relationship ended, the control did not.

References

“Controlling or coercive behaviour: statutory guidance framework (accessible).” n.d. GOV.UK. Accessed July 28, 2026. https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/controlling-or-coercive-behaviour-statutory-guidance-framework/controlling-or-coercive-behaviour-statutory-guidance-framework-accessible

“CPS data summary Quarter 3 2024-2025.” n.d. The Crown Prosecution Service. Accessed July 28, 2026. https://www.cps.gov.uk/publication/cps-data-summary-quarter-3-2024-2025 

“Criminal justice statistics quarterly - GOV.UK.” n.d. GOV.UK (www.gov.uk). Accessed July 28, 2026. https://www.gov.uk/government/collections/criminal-justice-statistics-quarterly  

Domestic abuse education. 2025. “Breaking Free: Understanding Post-Separation Abuse in the UK (2025 Guide).” Domestic Abuse Education. https://domesticabuseeducation.co.uk/breaking-free-understanding-post-separation-abuse-in-the-uk-2025-guide/ 

ONS. 2025. “Coercive control crime rates from 2016 to 2025.” Office for national statistics. https://www.ons.gov.uk/aboutus/transparencyandgovernance/freedomofinformationfoi/coercivecontrolcrimeratesfrom2016to2025

“Reports of controlling and coercive behaviour from January 2019 to May 2024.” 2024. Metropolitan Police. https://www.met.police.uk/foi-ai/metropolitan-police/disclosure-2024/july-2024/reports-controlling-coercive-behaviour-january2019-may2024/ 

Dear Prime Minister

Firstly, congratulations on becoming Prime Minister.

I have followed your career for many years, and one thing has always stood out to me: your determination to stand alongside ordinary people who were fighting for justice.

Your work with the Hillsborough families showed the country what can be achieved when someone in public office refuses to accept that victims should be ignored.

Today, I ask you to do the same for victims of coercive control.

My name is Paris Shears, founder of Paris's Law and a survivor of coercive control.

Through my own experience and by speaking to hundreds of survivors across the UK, one thing has become painfully clear: escaping the abuse is often easier than surviving the criminal justice process.

Coercive control is unlike many other offences. It isn't one incident.

It is a sustained pattern of behaviour designed to strip a person of their freedom, identity, confidence and independence.

Yet our justice system still too often treats it as though it can be understood through isolated incidents rather than the wider pattern of abuse.

Victims wait months, and often years, for their cases to reach court. During that time they repeatedly relive their trauma while trying to rebuild their lives. Many feel they are the ones on trial.

But this isn't simply about legislation. It is also about understanding.

Throughout my own case, it became clear to me that many professionals dealing with coercive control cases simply aren't given the specialist training needed to recognise the patterns of abuse.

Coercive control cannot be understood by looking at a few screenshots or isolated messages. Those communications are often evidence of an entire campaign of domination when viewed together.

That is why I am calling for specialist training for everyone involved in these prosecutions, including police officers, CPS lawyers, prosecutors, judges and magistrates.

I am also calling for the introduction of a Judicial Accountability Framework for coercive control cases.

Judicial independence must always be protected. However, independence should never mean the absence of accountability.

Survivors deserve confidence that the professionals making life-changing decisions fully understand coercive control and apply the law consistently.

Alongside this, Paris's Law continues to call for improved victim support, greater consistency in sentencing, better recognition of coercive control as a unique form of abuse, and an end to sentence reductions where defendants change their plea only after victims have prepared for trial, except where genuinely new evidence emerges.

Parliament will debate Paris's Law on 19 October.

I hope that debate becomes the beginning of meaningful reform.

Survivors have spent far too long finding their voices.

Now we need those in power to listen.

Paris Shears

20 July 2026

The last few weeks have felt huge.

When I first shared my story, I never imagined we'd be having conversations about real change on this scale. But here we are. Every message, every share, every person speaking up has helped get us to this point, and I wanted to take a moment to update you on what's happening with Paris's Law.

The debate has been confirmed

One of the biggest milestones so far is that the debate on Paris's Law has now been confirmed for 19 October.

This isn't just a date in the diary. It's another opportunity to make sure survivors' voices are heard and to highlight the changes that so many people believe are needed. For everyone who has supported this campaign, this is your achievement too. You can watch live via the Parliament YouTube channel. 

Join us in Southampton on 17 August

On 17 August, we'll be coming together for a peaceful march in Southampton. For too long, many survivors have felt isolated, unheard and forgotten.

This march is about standing together and showing that nobody has to face these experiences alone. Whether you're a survivor, a supporter, a friend or a family member, your presence matters. Find out more on our Facebook page here.

The Paris's Law logo competition has launched

One thing I'm especially excited about is the launch of the Paris's Law Logo Competition. We're inviting children and young people to design a logo that represents what Paris's Law means to them. As someone who knows the impact abuse can have on families, it felt important to give young people the chance to be part of something positive. To have their voices heard. To use their creativity to help shape a campaign that is fighting for change. There are no rules about being an artist or designer. We simply want to see your ideas, your imagination and what Paris's Law means through your eyes.

I can't wait to see the designs that come in. Because sometimes the most powerful ideas come from the youngest voices.

Download the template here.

This is only the beginning

People often ask me what's next. The truth is that Paris's Law was never about one petition, one debate or one event. It's about creating lasting change.

It's about making sure survivors are heard. It's about challenging systems that aren't working. And it's about giving hope to those who still feel trapped and alone. We've got a long way to go, but for the first time, it feels like we're moving forward together.

Thank you for standing with us.

Let's keep going.

Paris xx